We’re here to help you learn how to turn down requests without coming across as abrasive.

As soon as you open your mailbox in the morning, you’re welcomed by yet another mail from your boss requesting that you drop whatever you’re doing to take on a new urgent project. Even though you’re thinking “there’s no way”, telling your boss “no” is intimidating, especially if he isn’t exactly the type to handle rejection very well.

But pushing back your priorities to accommodate other people, including your colleague who won’t stop babbling on about his epic weekend, adds to your to-do list, possibly setting you up for failure. Luckily we’re here to help you learn how to turn down requests without coming across as abrasive.

You can thank us later.

Situation: You really don’t have the time

Instead of: No, I can’t do it

Try: Can you help me prioritize my tasks

Although, “No, I can’t do it” is the most logical thing to say when drowning in your work, it may convey a message of being unable to prioritize and execute your tasks efficiently. The secret lies in showing and not telling how preoccupied you are. So next time your boss requests you quickly type up a document, respond by showing him how much you have to do, how long each task will take, and what you have to put on hold to take on new tasks.

This way, not only will you show what’s on your plate, but together with your boss, you can determine what can remain on your immediate to-do-list, and what can be pushed back.

Read: 5 tips to help eliminate work stress

Situation: You have no time for the huge favour

Instead of: No, not this time

Try: I’ll give it some thought

Your colleague pops you a mail asking you to do her one last huge favour. Battling to give her an immediate “no”, which you think will give an impression of being harsh, you reckon you can squeeze this request into your week, if you juggle a few things around, wake up earlier or even stay up late.

But if you really are pressed for time responding with, “let me think about it” puts you in control and suggests you’re actually weighing in important factors first. Moreover, it gives you the opportunity to think things through, and softens the “no” blow.

Situation: You don’t feel like it

Instead of: Ugh. No!

Try: Sure (in most cases)

Someone has to make arrangements for the early morning meetings. Someone has to put in the extra hours to meet tomorrow’s deadline. Someone has to immediately drop whatever their doing to do the client coffee runs... Somebody’s got to do it.

Whether it’s because you’re short-staffed or everyone else has their hands full, there will be times when your boss or colleague will require that you do a bit extra, and a part of you may want to immediately respond with a “Can’t the intern do it?”

Showing no interest in giving a hand in times of need will force your colleagues to think of you as not being a team player. Moreover, you don’t want to be labelled as too big for your own boots. This is not to say you can’t raise your concerns when you feel you’re always the one who gives the helping hand.

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