‘Good communication skills’ and other job advert jargon decoded

The secrets of job adverts have been revealed. (Shutterstock)

You may think that you know what a job advert is really telling you about a vacancy and the company, but you actually have you know idea.

If you found this article, chances are you’re looking for a new job. Are we right? Are we right?

Of course we’re right. It's our job to be right about this. After all, we are career experts. (Think of us as the Batman of all things career.) And as such, we’re able to *decode the jargon used on job adverts. And we did. Just for you.

“But why?” you may ask. It’s pretty simple, really. We want to give you the best chance of landing a new job. So we’re letting you in on all the recruiter secrets. You can thank us on Facebook and Twitter later.

*Warning - not to be taken seriously

Next time you apply for a job, remember that:

When they say...

"Your duties may vary"

It really means… Anyone in the office can boss you around. 

When they say…

“Must be able to handle heavy workload”

It really means…

job ad jargon means

If you whine, you're fired.

When they say…

"Must have good communication skills"

It really means... Management gives orders. You listen. You do it.

When they say…

"Must have an eye for detail"

It really means… We have no quality control.

When they say...

"No Phone Calls Please. Apply via email only"

It really means... We've filled the job; the call for CVs is just a legal formality. 

When they say…

"Join our fast-paced company"

It really means...

job ad jargon means

We have no time to train you.

When they say…

"Must have excellent problem-solving skills"

It really means... You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

When they say…

"Must be deadline oriented"

It really means… You'll be six months behind schedule in your first week.

When they say…

“Requires team leadership skills"

It really means... You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, minus the pay and respect.

When they say…

"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience"

It really means... You'll need it to replace three people who just left. 

When they say…

"Some overtime required"

It really means...

job ad jargon means

You’ll be working each night and every weekend.

When they say...

“Great learning opportunity for graduates”

It really means... We’re not going to pay you. You'll be our slave.

When they say…

“Must be able to work well in a team”

It really means… Just agree and execute.

But shhh… Don’t tell anyone we’ve revealed the hidden messages that hiring managers are trying to send job candidates!

To see these phrases in action, check out any of the thousands of available vacancies on Careers24.